Featured Story

Adulthood is a scam!

Sapa na bastard!

I will pay any amount to achieve freedom, if you know how to help please ring me, show me the button to press to uninstall adulthood and I’ll be grateful forever, I’m not doing again.

Oyin came around for IT recently and one thing that jumped at me about her is her eagerness to finish school and start earning big money so she can buy cars for her nieces and nephews, cute dreams to be honest but I resisted every urge to tell her how that will likely go…

I knew I always wanted to attain that responsibility stage, na small pikin been dey worry me, my hands are in the air, I have seen the light and I confirm that adulthood is a scam, I’m not doing again. (Photo credit: Google)

Then some girls that desperately want to grow old so you stop calling them kids… Wish they knew how much older ladies want to get younger and how much of money they invest in make-up products just to stop the wrinkles from showing.

I remember how I was anxious to clock 13 so I could also be called a teenager, in fact on my twelfth birthday I wrote it somewhere that it was my last as a kid, then I looked forward to being 20 so badly as I was tired of being called a teenager, I wanted to be an adult, I craved the freedom and financial stability that I thought was only available to a certain age, no one told me about the cons…

I wanted to be free to bring a girl home without side eyes looking at me, despite the fact that most desperately want me married now, they will still put on their antennas if they see me with certain girls, so what is it?

See, I’m not doing bigger person again, I am tired of debit alerts and “savings or current”, the weight of expectations on my shoulders hurt more than anything else, I am somebody’s son too please miss me with all these bills abeg.

I realized that to every credit alert, there are at least five debit outlets, with lamentations on WhatsApp statuses and social media in general, I can tell I’m not the only one but maybe the rest of you are too proud to unsubscribe from this thing called Adulthood, I Ramsey Abimbola Olaniyan-Gold is not doing again.

I will come back to the entitled lots we have around, but right now I want to talk about how the income that sometimes looks big is absolutely nothing in the face of the mean and unapologetic thing called “Bills”. I am tired!

There are some bills you’re happy to pay, of course it’s given to respond to siblings and parents – Goes without saying as they’re on payroll, depending on where you lean when it comes to offerings and tithing, utility bills (Power, Waste management – kole ko doti – DSTV) fuel in the car, fuel in the gen, cooking gas – I don’t cook yes but we know who does the cooking – data, diclofenac, table of men, and many that I can’t write here.

There was a time all I ever paid for were my wrongdoings, the bills weren’t my business and I eat more than three square meals, get all allowances as at when due and I was balling on zero account balance, it’s sweet to spend someone else’s money.

Lol I remember my Lead City days, people legit thought my father was Dangote, I was spending my father’s and Hulk’s money then, when reality hits and I became a 30day cycle guy, I realized there’s more to life than night clubs and shedibalabala.

The nature of my job, some side hustles and association with some guys that shine on the big screen already exaggerated my worth, it’s hard for me to convince anyone I’m broke but despite the fact that the Lord is my Shepherd and Philippians 4:19 works perfectly for me, believe me… There are days I’m skint like a corper waiting for allawee…

I don’t know if this happens to the guys you drool over as well, I mean Otedola and Dangote dem, everybody wants to send account details to you, they won’t ask how you are or if you’ve eaten, they just want you to “show them love” even if you’re the one that actually needs the love at that moment.

Nobody depended on me when I was 14 years old, well except some beggie beggie friends that wanted my whatever then, life was peaceful, the only expectations were on my results and trust me to always come through, this adulthood isn’t for me, my two hands are in the air… I’m not doing again.

Then to the ones that make it seem as if my forefathers owe his or her family something, if you know me at all, I’m not afraid to share, but some are so insensitive that they see you on the sick bed and will still ask when you’re sending them money…

Fingers will never be equal except you use chain saw to fix them, some will forever need shoulders to lean on, but can you read the room? Can you be a bit considerate? Does it occur to you that adulthood is dealing with me too?

Be like I don dey vex, I leave it here. I know you want to tell me about how adulthood is hitting you hard, I know you’re looking for the button to unsubscribe, please if you find it kindly holla me, and for the love of God and the good fellowship of the Holy Spirit, don’t just read, please comment and leave your name too. Thank you and may God deliver us all from the stronghold of this thing called ADULTHOOD.

6 thoughts on “Adulthood is a scam!”

  1. 크리스 says:

    This was a nice read! And you see that 5 debit outlets for just 1 credit alert thing ehh… O ti su mi. But we move sha. We move.

    1. admin says:

      Pele my dear 😂😂😂

  2. Esther Timehin says:

    Omo, me sef wan unsubscribe. I am a lady but I can categorically tell you that adulthood is not for me. No wonder when I complain about little things my mum will say atoo ye e meaning you will soon understand. Right now I don over understand and I am tired. Pls holla when you find that unsubscribe button tori emi o de bigger person mo o emi de toro owo🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🤣🤣🤣🤣

    1. admin says:

      This thing is not even funny, iyalaya reality 😂😂😂😥

  3. Iyiola says:

    You are not alone in this. May God deliver us.

    1. admin says:

      Amen brother 🙏🏼

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *